


forgiveness

by N_san



Category: the Queen's Gambit
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:01:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27399892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N_san/pseuds/N_san
Summary: beth makes a stop at a certain new york apartment."𝘪 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘪𝘳."
Relationships: Beth Harmon/Benny Watts, Elizabeth "Beth" Harmon/Benjamin "Benny" Watts
Comments: 18
Kudos: 330





	forgiveness

**Author's Note:**

> I've posted this one-shot on my tumblr under the name 'bitchotine' so dw, it's not plagiarism or anything.

"why, hello, beth," he greeted dryly, mimicking their greetings from back then.

"why, hello, benny," she echoed, slightly breathless as she took in the blonde male in front of her.

wordlessly, benny took her suitcase from her pale—albeit slightly sweaty—hands and retreated into his dark and grey domain. and wordlessly, beth followed. 

her brown eyes greedily took in the familiar sight and scent. everything was exactly the same and she basked in the familiarity. she needed it to calm her nerves, she needed to be able to think straight so she could be able to do what she came here to do.

"drink?" he asked casually, eyes never meeting hers as he searched for a glass. 

"water's fine," beth breathed out, turning to sit down on the dining chair facing away from the blonde. she felt his intense gaze, she can practically feel his surprise (and what she hoped to be pride) and it made her mouth dry.

she never faces him, instead she listens to him filling up a glass with water, it being the only sound in the room. the silence was so horrifyingly thick that the ginger was just so tempted to suffocate herself with it. her breath hitches slightly as she hears him nearing her, and her heart may as well jumped out of throat the moment he placed the glass in front of her. she murmurs a thank you and takes a much needed sip.

even when the object of her frustrations took a seat in front of her, beth never took her eyes off of the clear liquid.

unspoken words filled the air, each breath they breathed out added a new layer to the thickening silence surrounding them. she had so many things to say to him.

"𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵."

"𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘬 𝘺𝘰𝘶."

"𝘪 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶."

"𝙞'𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪."

but instead, she remained silent.

benny stared at her hard. several unidentified emotions bottled up inside him, desperate to be let out. he wanted to say something but he just didn't know what. the words were lodged in his throat, fumbling around his brain. no matter how much he wanted to, he just couldn't articulate his feelings.

"𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴."

"𝘩𝘰𝘸'𝘥 𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮?"

"𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘭𝘺?"

"𝙙𝙞𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙤𝙛 𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙨 𝙢𝙪𝙘𝙝 𝙖𝙨 𝙞 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪?"

but instead he said,

"why are you here?" it wasn't a question as much as it was a demand. beth finally looked up to meet his eyes and he cursed himself for falling deep in them yet again.

"uh," beth hesitated, stumbling with her words and darting her eyes elsewhere. "i just–i," she inhaled and breathed out heavily. "fuck it, i've missed you, benny. i've fucking missed you."

he definitely didn't expect that. his eyebrows raised in shock and his mouth agape. she took his silence as a means to go on.

"i know i messed up. a lot. and fuck, i'm sorry. i was so fucking inconsiderate of your feelings and yet you still helped me and i've been feeling like shit ever since." she was ranting and she couldn't stop. she didn't want to stop. the dam was now cracked open and she'd gladly spill every last bit of her feelings to him. 

"i thought about so many things during my trip there but holy fuck, you took up like ninety fucking percent of my thoughts. all i could feel during the trip was how fucking alone i was and how it should've been the two of us there. together." she breathed in, catching her breath. "it got better when townes appeared but when you called, i was fucking ecstatic." she choked out a laugh. "fuck, i'm still not over it. i thought I lost you, you know? i thought you hated me. and then you called and it felt like this burden was off my shoulders. not to mention the fact that you paid for harry, matt, and mike's plane tickets to new york just so you all could help me. and don't even try to lie, townes told me it was all you." her eyes stopped wandering around the room and finally fully looked into his dark ones. 

"you did all that for me. even if there was a chance an adjournment didn't happen. you could've wasted all your money but you still did it." she was whispering now, cheeks red and lips pursed.

benny didn't know how to respond. he stared at the girl in front of him with a blank face, nothing betraying him of how he really felt. the relief, the anger, the doubt, the hope, the resentment, the actual fucking adoration he had for this girl sitting in front of him.

he didn't know what to say. so instead, he leaned over the table, cradled her face gently, and pulled her lips onto his.

beth froze in shock before eagerly returning the kiss. her heart was going a mile a minute and she was starting to feel a little dizzy. her hands found their way into his perfect fucking hair and gently tugged on it.

benny pulled away slightly, his forehead resting on hers. "you still like my hair, doll?"

"i still like your hair." she confirmed with a shy smile.


End file.
